good grief

good grief
rca 8/12/08

he often left for work with grief
in his bag. he did just that even
on christmas or new year's eve
for that that matter. he always did.

he served it to his guests, his grief.
over tea, over dinner, even on
his birthday party every 12th
of december. he always did.

the neighbors thought, including me
that a turned leaf from him was
not to be expected. but at times i,
doubted them. even now, i still do.

a week ago, he left the world
with something else in his bag,
i suppose. he was smiling, i recall,
when i saw him on the open casket.

##

dorm stuff

I would have wanted to stay longer. Who wouldn't, if given the chance? The wifi's enough a reason for prolonging my stay. But that's not all, the people are nice too. I can never forget them. If I did, I'd still recall them from the far reaches of my memory years from now.

My five-month contract with PJ ended three days ago and I didn't have the slightest idea that I had to move out right away. I can only laugh at the experience. Besides, I'm young and naive and it's my first try at living in a shared commercial space, so I have those to attribute it for. Hehe.

I wanted to leave a note similar to what Kuya Ian, a former roommate, did, addressing each of the tenants separatetly. I had a lot to say and have thought out what I was going to write down. Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to. But if by chance I did, it would have read like this:

~~

4 December 2008
B4, PJ Mansion, Cuevas Towers
Taft Avenue cor. Pedro Gil, Manila

To the B4 people of the past and present,

Good day.

By the time you read this, I'm gone from the face of this room forever, never to return nor look back but I want everyone to know that my time spent here was nevertheless fruitful. I enjoyed every second of it, awake or asleep. There were no reasons for me to consider not to, anyway. I got the taste of freedom away from the confines of my little household and it lingers on my tongue, bittersweet like dark chocolate. That's what made me enjoy the time spent most and for some of you it's not an uncommon occurrence anymore.

Now, down to business with each of you.

Kuya Mico - I don't even know you. But heck, you were my dorm mate for a week or so. Good luck in conquering your claustrophobia.

Kuya Toy - Hmm, what can I say. You love music. And the voices of the speech deprived or those having difficulty with their media are also music to your ears, I can tell. May you find the first note of the music that moves you.

Kuya Tonnicci - Ang sipag mo po mag-aral, something that I deeply admire. It's so infectious too that sometimes I find myself doubting my supposedly stable and balanced study habits. But looking back, you always remind me of the proverbial signposts stacked upon one another and pointing to places we call "everywhere". I don't know what it means though.

Kuya Ian - Woo! Mabuhay ang nurses! I got this whole idea from you. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang story sessions slash marathon hanggang alas tres ng umaga.

Kuya Tan-tan - Salamat po sa buko pie at pan de coco at sa sagot mo sa tinanong ko dati. It really helped clear things in my head.

Kuya Marco - Wala akong sasabihin sayo. Belat! XD Makatulog ka sana sa bus one of these days at pag gising mo papunta nang Mendez ang bus. Woo! (Shift muna ako sa Tagalo amp dinudugo ilong ko sa kai-Ingles.) Ang gulo mo po! Minsan matinong kausap, minsan mapag-biro. Pareho kayo ni Kuya Tonicci. Parang signposts na nakuturo sa kung saan. Ikaw yung hardcore version. Chaos theory. Wahaha!

~~

I hope everyone finds success, happiness, contentment, and most of all, fulfillment in all their chosen fields of profession, in life and in love, too. Parting words:

"It's only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye." -taken from the book, The Little Prince.

That is all I have to say.

To the skies,

Rudolph aka Jei-ar, Junior.

Hospital rotations are back on track for us little nurselings. Our group is supposed to be (the schedule still needs a little tweaking) doing RMC OPD come Monday until the end of the month. Then we'll move to RITM (Research Institute for Tropical Medicine) for our pm shift there for November. And finally, Ospital ng Maynila, medical ward for the December rotation.

Two weeks ago, I was hoping that we were to be assigned at the Kawit hospital, as claimed through text by Kuya Mike, where delivery cases are plenty. It turned out that I was hoping dearly in vain, as accurately predicted by [info]aisushi . There is still Curative II, however, so my hopes are still high that before the end of the school year, our major and minor cases would have been completed by then.

My books for this trimester will not be included on the list of money issues to be tackled. Thank God for Ate Grace and her daughter's books. The books are one edition behind but I'll make do with them. I have to. Besides, it's never been my problem if my books are borrowed and old. Heck, I got 1.25 in my pharmacology by feeding off photocopied pages with the colored one at the library. The two books will instead go to another list which is the still-to-be-bought-books-even-after-graduation. Pharmacology, Fundamentals of Nursing (borrowed an old edition from Apple), and Suddarth and Brunner's Medical-Surgical Nursing. From time to time one's got to do his homework and remember theories.

...

That would be all, I think. ^_^

I think I should make a new blog, a private one, and move all my current digital diary entries there.

Always like this, my head
held high against heaven
my hands against your chest,
ready to push away. At any
moment, I would cry, pull
you close, against heaven -
against me. Again and again.

-RCA

The Chess Mess Test

I found the site while browsing Ate Jo's blog. ^_^ It's a nice quiz.

Your result for The Chess Mess Test...

The Rook's Citizen

The Rook’s Citizen is the guardian of birthdays, holidays and celebrations. They are generous hosts. They observe joyfully the traditions and are very liberal in giving when custom suits. Don’t be fooled by the pleasantry – they enjoy running the show. They are astute in seeing problems and aren’t afraid of delegation. They work hard and play with zest. They provide service and expect others to contribute.

The Citizen is wounded easily because their hearts are on their sleeves. They have a strong sense of right and wrong but are torn between that and the overwhelming need to rescue others. This can result in a swift action – often as motherly reprimand. As a caretaker the Citizen is vigilant. The world can be seen as a hostile place, one that cannot be trusted. They serve as great protectors and are perfect for the nurturing of young in education.

The Rook's Citizen prefers living with a focus on the world around them. They take in values via the five senses in a most literal and concrete fashion. They work hard and with efficiency. They maintain great relationships because of their cooperative natures. They will keep everyone informed and attempt to reach decisions through consensus. This is another ‘Pawn’ that is needed for their providing natures foundations of society. They bring the best out in others because they value everyone’s input and needs. They are the pleasant type and make others feel good about themselves. They will find it hard to accept flaws in others because they are the kindest and most giving of individuals.

Check out my other tests!

Changeling Type | Mage Sorter

Take The Chess Mess Test at HelloQuizzy

Ian asked me to host the tribute for him and I couldn't turn the favor down. I already asked a lot of favors from him, like sleeping over at his place when my supposed to be moving day to my dorm got canceled, and he's too busy to host the tribute itself. It's high time to return them and help him. Poor guy was forced to be the ex-com president, thanks to our coercive efforts. Well, he's not failed us once. Ian gets the job done. He deserves anyone's help. Mine for instance.

Last term, I also hosted the said event along with Therese, who's from another class, and we nearly, yes nearly, made fun of ourselves by being so clumsy at first, then a little throughout the event. Our inexperience and obvious lack of preparation showed and I'm pretty sure a lot of the older students and the faculty members noticed. Hopefully, tomorrow won't be the last tribute's rerun.

I'm not new to the stage - or being in front of a large crowd. I was very active in the drama club when I was in high school, though I didn't write about it much here on LJ. But I find acting different from emceeing/hosting, however. You have to be formal and tactful at all times. And being the funny man doesn't seem to work on octogenarians. But this time, Therese and I are a bit more prepared.

Hehe.

You can't say hehe on stage by the way.

~~

Finals is on Friday. And I have yet to re-read my notes. Heaven help me